What a day of answered prayers! Actually, what three days of
answered prayers as I journeyed here. But, today was truly a perfect first day
with many delightful answers to my questions of what these 5 weeks would be
like. I have been worrying about this trip, and trying desperately not to worry
about this trip for literally years, but especially for the past few months or
so…What would my accommodations be like? Would I be able to talk to Travis or
anyone else back home? Could I handle five weeks without internet if it meant I
couldn’t see Travis’ face or hear my mom or dad’s laugh? Was I going to be
lonely?... And then little things like… Would my driver be at the airport?
Would my ATM card work? Would my luggage show up? How long would it take to get
my new cell phone and be in touch with others?
The truth is that these things didn’t need worrying.
Worrying didn’t fix them. I just worried. And talked about that worrying. And I
thought about the relationship between that worrying and my faith and my desire
to be present and joyful and a good person while I am here. And you all heard
me talk about it. And God certainly heard me—every morning—talk about it (and
still will, for sure). And you all prayed for me and with me. You laid hands on
me. You hugged me. You told your friends to pray. You sent me encouraging
emails and texts. You all understood the importance of this trip, and the depth
of emotions that have surrounded it for me. And you’ve walked with me. And God
and I have been talking about it every morning over coffee as I starred out the
living room window at the Bloomington summer. I shouldn’t need a perfect first day to remind me that I am
not alone—that you and God go with me, but I did need it. And I got it. And I
am so thankful for it.
Let me give a most recent status and then I’ll share a few
wonderful details of my trip prior to the trip here, just to illustrate the
many answered prayers and God sightings displayed for me today. You don’t have
to read this. I am not going to write eloquently or thoughtfully; I just want
to get my thoughts out there so I remember. Because this serves as one kind of
prayer of thankfulness to God and, in the future, a reminder to me of God’s
rich faithfulness.
Aside from being tired from jetlag and not really sleeping
for the past couple of days, my flights from Thursday on went totally
perfectly, all of my luggage arrived, my ATM card worked, and a very nice man
picked me up at the airport and dropped me off at the Ramakrishna Mission
Institute of Culture—everything as planned. WHAT?! Yeah. And I checked in at
the hotel and they took me through this lovely courtyard up to my room, which
is definitely the nicest place I have stayed in South Asia—A.C., reliable
electricity, fan, a daily jug of clean water, a personal bathroom, everything
spotless, a water heater for tea, hot water in the shower, extra (clean) sheets
and towels, a shower, a toilet, a desk, annnnnnnd out of nowhere, totally
unexpected….. AN INTERNET CONNECTION! Its definitely not the institute’s, so it
could disappear at any time, but I had the pleasure of skyping with Travis and
my mom today. Its amazing how much of a difference feeling that connection can
make in your total well-being. I don’t know how long I will have this internet,
but I am taking advantage of it now and feeling very, VERY thankful for this
connection to all of you and the outside world. Connection is priceless when
you’re out of your comfort zone.
The other wonderful surprise was the incredible food here.
At breakfast there was yummy tea, bananas, gluten-free cereal (yeah, I know),
warm milk, chapattis and delicious chickpea curry. Lunch was even more
impressive: chicken curry, fresh vegetables, rice, and fresh mango. Then when I
came home this afternoon after my excursion, hot tea and milk showed up at my
door! WHAT?! Im pretty sure my problem on this trip will be eating too much,
rather than the opposite, which is truly a luxurious pleasure. (food update:
Lunch Sunday: an assortment of delicious Indian vegetables: fried potatoes and
bitter gourd; potatoes and squash cooked in a cashew cream; spinach and
potatoes cooked in spice pods…then fish, cashew rice, dal, and fresh
mango….yeah… WHAT?!)
At breakfast I met a woman named Simanti Dasgupta. She is an
Assistant Professor at Dayton University in the Anthropology department. She is
doing some VERY impressive work here—like the kind of work I have always been
in awe of. For the past five years, she has been spending her summers here
working with grassroots sex work and sex trafficking advocacy groups. Basically
she works one on one every day with women who are doing sex work in the red
light district and exploring the difficulty of simple definitions of
trafficking and sex work. She tells these women’s stories of both
agency/independence and violence in their field of work and basically just
tries to be of help to them in exchange for hearing their stories. Five years
ago, she had to present her project proposal to a panel of women who are also sex workers who head
up the grassroots advocacy group she works with. She had to defend her work to
them, and they agreed but asked that she help them with their everyday needs.
What has grown out of this are deep relationships and connections and trust.
She hopes to develop a fuller and more complex story both of these women’s lives
and the issues, particularly global, that shape and define sex work and sex
trafficking. That was my first
conversation here! She gave me all of this advice about ethnographic work and
was so, so encouraging. It was a special, God-filled moment. As it turns out,
she is my next door neighbor here and she told me to holler if I need anything
or any more advice.
Now before this day, I had a layover in New York and got to
spend a whole day with the great John Jeffords, who showed me around his
adorable neighborhood and introduced me to his equally adorable and charming
Lindsey and Stephen. I ate some great food, had some great coffee, watched
America move on in the World Cup and sat in Washington Square Park with the
greatest brother in law ever.
Other wonderful encounters: basically everyone I encountered as I was
navigating the New Jersey Railroad and the Subway to get to and from the Newark
Airport, were kind and forgiving of my deer-in-headlights, I’m from a city of
70,000 people look. There was even a man who noticed that I was having trouble
getting my luggage off the train who helped me. He carried my giant India
suitcase off the train, just to be nice. Did I mention that he did this all
with one arm? WHAT?! Then, as John, Stephen and I were walking home from
dinner, we ran into a monk from the local Hare Krishna temple who gave us a
book about devotional cooking.
So basically, God was like, “Look, Ashlee, even if I have to
beat you over the head with this, and it doesn’t matter how much you try to ignore it by
getting wrapped up in your own neurotic whatever, I will remind you that I am
with you. “
I mean, how’s that for an abundance of answered prayers. My
cup runneth over. I can hear God whispering in my ear: “See, I’m here, silly.
Now get out of your box of worry and control and be present here, aware and
thankful. “
My challenge in the coming days is to move beyond myself and
the worry and need to control that has tended to characterize my trips, so that
I may see God’s story here and to more fully be with and tell the stories of others
than I have been able in the past—to move past the distractions of ensuring I
was ok (since God’s got that), and be more mentally and physically present with
the people I meet.
I was hoping to post some pics of my room, but I can't get them to upload; I'll try later in the week. Hopefully, in
the posts to follow, I can share less about myself and my situation and my
neuroses and share more about the world and people that I have the opportunity
to engage with.
Although I do not yet have a working cell phone, I am hoping
to arrange a meeting with my research assistant, Hena Basu, the most capable
and wonderful woman in this country. She has invited me to her home to watch
her home celebration of Ratha Yatra. Today is a festival day that celebrates
Lord Jagganath’s journey on a palanquin with his brother Balabhadra and his
sister Shubhadra to their aunt’s home. People celebrate by building or buying
small chariots and pulling little forms of the deities through the streets.
There are also special foods prepared, of course, so I hope to see and better
understand those aspects of today thanks to Hena. Hopefully our meeting will
work out and I can share what I have learned with you.
I miss you all and hope that I can share many more updates
about this place and the people I meet. I so, so very much appreciate your
prayers, both of yesterday and tomorrow. I’d like to be in prayer with you too,
so please let me know how I can pray for you and just how you’re doing.
Blessings,
ashlee
